Lonely Hearts Club
by IPaintWithWords
Summary: Roses are red, violets are blue. You don't have a date? We'll make sure you do.
1. Chapter I: Traumatized Hesitation

Arthur Kirkland, the student council president, was very exhausted.

It was a week before Valentine's Day, and as usual, he became even more busy. Why? It was the time of the year where the most popular annual club will open yet again. Arthur Kirkland was the creator of said club, one of his many brilliant ideas and a project of the student council, and in turn, he became the president of it. In a span of two years, it became really successful that they made more money than they anticipated.

Originally, the club was called Valentine Club, since it only opened every February. However, the student body dubbed it the Lonely Hearts Club, finding it much more fitting than the initial name, and it just kind of stuck.

"Oh damn. Remind me again why I started this in the first place?" Arthur complained as he stretched, hearing his bones pop and letting out a groan of satisfaction.

Elizaveta, a Hungarian student that had recently become his vice-president, laughed a bit, biting her tongue to keep herself from retorting something that would agitate her president. She learned that the hard way. Continuing to cut little hearts from red paper, she answered in the simplest way possible.

"No idea, you never did tell me." She said with a shrug, even though she (and everyone else in the club) knew just why he started it.

Sure enough, a light pink hue dusted the Brit's cheeks that he tried to hide by looking away, doing a pretty good job at it. Elizaveta looked at him with a small smile, knowing he was holding back. Abandoning her work, she stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You know, the Lonely Hearts Club are for everyone." She said in a soft manner, wanting Arthur to know that she had the purest intentions, that she only intended to help him. Arthur looked up, the light pink turning into a darker shade.

"I-I know that... It's just that..." He trailed off, but Elizaveta understood. She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before going back to fix their things.

"Maybe the club can help you forget him. It's been three years after all." She pointed out with a shrug, grabbing her backpack and throwing it on, meeting the Brit's pained gaze with a smile.

"Well, I'm off. Make sure not to tire yourself too much again, m'kay?" She reminded, waving a hand before walking away, leaving Arthur alone with his thoughts and memories.

The said Brit sighed, starting to fix the mess around him. Elizaveta was right, he should at least try to start over. But everyone knew he had huge trust issues that grew even larger after that terrible memory almost three years ago. Groaning, he ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

"I really should call it a day, so I can relax at home with a cup of tea." He mumbled to himself, smiling at the idea of relaxation. He finished cleaning up, placing the application forms on the table of the booth. As he did so, he bit his lip, the urge of signing up to his own club getting unbearable.

Arthur assessed his situation. If he signed up, there was a chance that he'd be paired up with someone awful, or worse, him. However, positively, his members wouldn't even dare putting his name close to that bastard's, and his pairing committee has never failed to pair the most compatible people before. Moreover, if he was paired with someone he didn't like, he can just not continue into a relationship. It was still the people's choice what they want to do after the Lonely Hearts Club has paired them.

Biting his lip, Arthur stared at the application forms as if they were snakes, waiting for him to get near enough. There won't be a 'going back' after he signed. Tomorrow, when the booth opened, he was expected to walk around and help everywhere to keep the event from getting too chaotic. If he signed up now, he won't be able to erase it.

Taking a deep breath, he picked up his pen.


	2. Chapter II: The Lonely Hearts Club

_"Roses are red_  
 _Violets are blue._  
 _You don't have a date._  
 _We'll make sure you do!"_

Their slogan rang throughout the open space, thanks to the cheery voice of Antonio Carriedo, a recent member of the club. His Spanish accent seemed to help attract attention, some girls visibly swooning before giggling and joining the long line towards the booth. Too bad he was already taken, thanks to the Lonely Hearts Club.

Arthur walked the length of the line, grinning. Looks like it was going to be a huge success again. He vaguely wondered why their space is always packed every year. As what their reports say, most relationships are almost always successful. Then again, it is a large school, with a large population, and a large number of new students every year. It was slightly creepy how their numbers always seem to double every year.

"Arthur! Arthur!" Elizaveta came running towards him, a huge smile plastered on her face while waving a piece of paper in the air. Arthur caught her when she ended up stumbling when she reached him. Regaining her balance, she thrusted the paper to him and he began to read it.

"Look at our profits! It's like a dream!" Elizaveta squealed, and Arthur's eyes widened, not believing the numbers printed on the paper.

"Holy shit, we can continue that project of ours by the end of the year with this!" Arthur exclaimed, and Elizaveta nodded enthusiastically.

"I know! Oh my god!" Elizaveta agreed, jumping up and down in excitement. Arthur let out a laugh, and Elizaveta laughed also, until the both of them fell into a mess of laughter and 'oh-my-god!'s.

As soon as they've composed themselves, Arthur handed her back the paper, still grinning like an idiot. Elizaveta stared at him, enjoying how bright the Brit was smiling since it seemed to get rarer and rarer to see. She was happy, ecstatic even, that Arthur was finally looking happy again. Which reminds her...

"Hey, did you take my advice yesterday?" She asked, making sure her voice sounded nonchalant but curious. Almost immediately, Arthur's smile dropped into a straight line, looking away with a sigh.

"No, I didn't. I pondered over it for a while, but I just couldn't bring myself to sign my name on the form. I'm sorry Elizaveta..." He explained, rubbing his arm and bowing his head down. Elizaveta frowned worriedly at her friend. The latter deserved to be happy. With the club, he turned people's lives from lonely to contented, and he deserved that too.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"It's quite alright, Arthur. I'm off then, I still need to help supervise the people over there." She thumb-pointed at the queue with a bright smile. Arthur gave a forced one in turn, nodding and playfully shooing her away. Elizaveta rolled her eyes and saluted, walking backwards for a bit before breaking into a full sprint over to the table.

"Excuse me, vice president coming through! Move, my friend's life is in danger!" She announced, pushing her way in front of a line, ignoring the annoyed glares sent her way.

"Just sign your name, phone number, sexuality, and a list of your preference and we'll do the rest." Lovino Vargas, a volunteer worker, monotonously stated without looking up from his phone. Elizaveta frowned at him.

"You know, your Spanish boyfriend won't be too happy if he found out you were slacking off." She said coolly, making the Italian jump and stare at her surprised before scoffing.

"I'm not slacking off, people are just idiots." Lovino defended himself, crossing his arms. Elizaveta rolled her eyes and picked up the pen, starting to write.

"Oh, I didn't know you were lonely Elizaveta." Lovino admitted, sitting up a bit straighter in curiosity. Elizaveta, however, merely grinned.

"I'm not signing myself up. I'm signing our president up." She said, dropping the pen when she finished. Lovino's eyes widened at what she did, staring down at the form.

 _Arthur Kirkland, xxx-xxxx, gay (closeted), preferably someone I won't have trust issues with._

"I think you just signed your death contract. Have you seen him angry?" Lovino hissed, but Elizaveta just shrugged.

"I have, and it's not exactly a sight to behold, but Lovino, admit it. The poor guy needs this..." Elizaveta explained, and Lovino bit his lip. After a while, he scoffed and leaned back in his seat, pouting.

"Fine, I'll keep it a secret that you were the one who signed him up. But you owe me!" He exclaimed, and Elizaveta grinned victoriously.

"I'll give you Antonio's pics last Christmas. He was drunk." Elizaveta smirked, winking as Lovino blushed, mumbling a '...deal'.

As Elizaveta walked away, she caught sight of the Brit, his face neutral, as he stood near the middle of the line. His hands were clasped behind his back, and Elizaveta watched as his face fell into an amused grin as Ivan, a volunteer, broke into a sprint, followed quickly by... is that his distant cousin?

 _'Soon, we can see you happy and contented again, Arthur. The club rarely fails after all.'_ Elizaveta thought to herself, smiling devilishly as she whipped out her phone and texted four people that were vital to her plan.


End file.
